Write I must

a need to write is perhaps one of my strongest addictions, yet a non frequent one.i can go without writing for months sometimes. and then there are times when I must write..pages and pages of anything. Its the closest i feel to being an artist, perhaps a non-practicing one!

when I see the movie amadeus and how mozart must compose or read about any artist, it reminds me of how strongly i feel about writing. like right now- i have no agenda for this piece and perhaps no stress on the writing style. i have never even been a serious writer- yet there is that ray of hope, the passion for words!

the smallest of my writings make me happy- even when the flaws are apparent and the content boring!

i wanna get better at it, and now i am really going to work on it. enough of just moving on in life!

i wanna do things i love now- be with people i sharea mutually positive relationship with and live a happier life.. anyways i am getting older too- life is finite and even that realisation is scary..of non-existence, unperubed silence!

i wanna read and write lots before i cant do it! i wanna write my biography..maybe get it published! if there's no readership..il just get a few copies printed that r distributed when i am gone..but opnly for the people who truly care, who would like to know me more than they have , & after they have. the few people i love.. I hope there r some people like that after me actually ! In God I trust. i am gonna live like i want to...on my own terms..He will take care of the rest!