Borrowed Dreams ??? !!!!!!

this has been on my mind for a while now..so here goes..

my life seems so similar to all my peers almost all of the times that i cant help but wonder if i have an individual and independent brain. my life- at both macro and micro level is so so so typically that of a B-school student and my aspirations are an exact match to everyone's around me.

it makes me question if i really want what i am trying so hard to get?? infact how many of us in this herd really know what our dreams really are- are we really getting to what we are destined for?? or are we blinded by the obviousness, the correctness of our present choices to look beyond and make OUR choices??

maybe its not me- maybe its human psychology. we just dont question. whether its the evaluation procedure at the college or its our dreams, its only a matter of precedence and the number of hits and misses of my worthy predecessors- the only hope is that the first ones to tread this path, who had no precedence to fall back on..made the right decisions and choices..

but hell! isnt life supposed to be dynamic? dont things change with time and as the people change??? maybe i will fail in achieving even this borrowed dream- and blame it on my inability! but its more likely that my failure is due to a lack of passion--maybe its because inherently its not my calling!

you know, sometimes this 'bare all' honest talk scares me- i mean, its like- maybe the veil of pretense is easier to handle than the nudity of truth.. yes , i think its easier.

but what when the illusion will lift? what if its too late to restart? yes i know how its never too late, but my wisdom and experience at 21 tells me that thats a white lie .. maybe im too conservative and traditionalist in thought and action or if you wanna put it plainly- im possibly a coward, an escapist but yes i already regret some decisions its too late to change now- like engineering, like stopping basketball practice for that silly little swelling in my palm, like reading too little, like spending less time with my grandmum....

many of these are trivial and some of them have fundamentally shaped my present ( which is a fairly okayish state ), but nevertheless i regret them and i think i always will.

so what now? do i suddenly rethink my life and kinda revamp it? take a few path breaking decisions which make wonderful anecdotes once im famous?

nah!! i wont..i wont do any of that. the sad fact of my life is- i will proceed just as everyone around me does. and thats because life's complex and we, atleast i , dont get to always make my own choices without approval from the most important people in my life. plus there are other constraints.. like where do you start, how do you compete, how do you leave the safe haven and tread into spaces unknown when you only got limited time at hand- and then you gotto be settled and all..

i know, you possibly hate me by now- either for the first faffy thought or for this sudden downturn to mother earth and silly reality..

now if you belong to the former group- im sorry, but you can stop reading, really! i am a fantasizer and i got every right to be one :)

but just in case you belong to the latter group, just one piece of sincere advice for you dear friend..

the past may have been perfect or maybe it was a mistake, but its past now..and now the future beckons you -- reach out and make it your own wonderland..


LIFE DOESNT GIVE YOU A SECOND CHANCE ! IT JUST NEVER DOES!!
SO THINK HARD AND ATLEAST NOW ON-- PLEASE LIVE YOUR OWN DREAMS..

God bless..

DREAM ON........